High Stress Communications

Learning what to say and how to say it in a stressful situation is a skill everyone needs to know.  Dr. Covello is a world leading authority on this type of communication who looks a bit like comedian Martin Short.  He was Mayor Juliani’s man during and after 911 helping frame that famous speech reassuring the people of New York, after the collapse of the World Trade Center buildings.  Of all the lectures, he has the results and science to back up what he says. 

Working with our culturally different Ministry counterparts will be stressing, and adding terrorist threats, a sense of urgency and an interpreter make it all even more complex.  Covello travels all over the world teaching this stuff.  A few facts:  Did you know that Afghanistan and Japan use the word “No” least in the world?  Guess who is first?   Using “no”, can’t, and won’t just don’t work in High context cultures.  Its just too final and insulting.  It also undermines your credibility when you actually can do something later.  Nordstrom’s Department store’s business model is built on not saying no. 

This does not mean the Afghans say yes when they mean no, but rather they might say “God willing” (meaning not likely to be done now), or “This will be difficult” (are you F-ing kidding).

Based on extensive data and research, Covello has identified three universal truths to high-stress communicating:

-          When stressed, people want to know you care first, so the messenger must be compassionate.

-          When stressed, people have difficulty processing information, so it has to be simple.

-          When stressed, people focus on the negative, so the message has to provide reassurance.

Seems obvious, but at least we can say “the expert says”.