Sunday, May 10, 2015

The Art of the Conversation


The Afghans are a high context people; we are not.  For us, getting to the point quickly is a passion.  For them, there may not be a point for now, or if there is one, you have to tease it out of the long conversation.  The Afghans place emphasis on the spoken word.  PowerPoint slides of words seems meaningless to them, yet we give medals to those of us who can master the .PPT. 
Learn to have a conversation.  Get to know them.  Learn their names and those of their family members.  I’m doomed.  When we met, it took me three weeks to remember my future wife’s last name.  Ask about almost everything, and over time you build trust to find out most of the rest.  Yet you will never know everything.  There is always intrigue and backstory. 
These people have been at war for over 40 years.  We are interfacing with the ones that know how to survive.  Tell a story, but don’t bullshit.  They can smell it a mile away and once they judge you insincere, you may as well go home.  Conversations must be honest and personal and they go on for a while before you even get to business, which may be on the third meeting. 
Be patient, enjoy the journey……..but with your head on a swivel.  Is this possible?

-          Everything is context, and the context is always changing.  

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